Count Me In!

September 30, 2008 by icscoach · Leave a Comment 

paperdollsI’m a person who’ve served my country and community.  I spent twenty years in the military and served as a volunteer coach for the little league baseball team in my community. 

One day I had devastating news that changed my life forever.  I learned that my wife of 30 years died suddenly and to no avail the autopsy did’not provide any reasons for her death.  Soon after I buried my wife, I got extremely depressed and I stopped living.  You see my wife was my life, she kept me motivated, inspired and alived. 

Who will be that person to assure me that it’s a dream when I have vivid images of the horrors of war? Who was going to cook my favorite dish using the right blend of herbs and spices, or fill the room with scents of jasmin and ginger?

You see, there was no one, and even if so, I would have refused to let her take that role.  So I stopped living altogether, I stopped working, stopped bathing, stopped paying my bills, after all why?  I couldn’t convinced myself anymore of the importance of these things?  In my mind, they were unecessary and I felt like I didn’t need these things any more.  Soon after her death it became unbearable for me to live in my house any longer as memories of her were everwhere.  I stopped paying the mortgage and lost it to the bank.  

A year after her death, I still found myself longing, needing her love and attention.  Everyone around me told me to move on, there were other things to live for, but I couldn’t.  I just didn’t have the strength or desire to live anymore.

It has now been twenty years since her death and I still grieve the lost of my wife, who was my best friend and my love.  I sometimes wish for her memory to be erased from my mind, at least I would be released from the pain and maybe I could put my life back together.  But her memory still lives on like it was just yesterday.   

Who am I you may ask?  You may have met me before and didn’t recognized me.  You might have passed me in the streets and turned your face away from me because you couldn’t stand the sight or even the smell of me.  You may have even thought when you saw me, get a job, get clean up, get off of drugs, do something worthwhile with your life.

You see, I am one of the millions of homeless people living in America with a story.  I am a person just like you, but I’ve suffered a terrible lost in my life and never recovered from it.  I’m the homeless man who sits on the corner everyday dreaming that one day my best friend will be returned to me.

Don’t feel sorry for me because it was my choice that got me here, just count me in and remember my brothers and sisters.  They too are people with personal stories.  Some more devastating, others not so devastating, just poor choices. 

Count me in and the millions of young children all across the world that are loosing their parents to AIDs, war, terriosm and senseless violence.

Count me in when you’re spending your money on things you don’t need, but want.  Think about giving it to a charity that addresses these types of issues.

Count me in when you’re shopping for clothes.  Buy an extra pair for my little sister who’s running around in a disease infested street in one of the poorest country of the world, Haiti.

Count me in by supporting the organization that removes land mines from fields so my little brother can play without the threat of danger.

Count me in when you’re buying food.  Support a church or organization that feeds families in need.

Just count me in, either in your thoughts or actions.

The “Bad” Economy: Where’s the Good News?

September 23, 2008 by icscoach · Leave a Comment 

badnewsEveryday the news reports on what’s wrong with the American economy.  Whether it is about the stock market crashing,  the housing market plummeting, large financial institutions such as Fannie Mae, Freddie Mac, Merrill Lynch going under, consumer confidence being low, or unemployment increasing, the news is letting us know how bad things are for the American people.  

I can’t help to feel discourage when I listen to all that’s wrong with the economy.  There is an internal conflict that goes on every time I hear how crappy things are.  The struggle goes something like this.  The monologue from my conscious, logical and rational self says: well Deborah, things are gettting worst and there isn’t anything you can do about it.  It is bigger than you, you might as well accept the enevitable and start changing your course of action.  No need for hope or optimism, the economy is what it is and there’s nothing you can do that will make it better.  However, contrary to my conscious self, my spiritual self vehemently refutes this and label it as noise.  It refuses to allow me to give in and just accept the way things are.  Actually, it doesn’t allow me to hold on to this thinking for more than a minute.  My spiritual self keeps reminding me that there is always hope, there is always another alternative, and there are choices.

So I ask what choice does a person has who is either facing foreclosure, has no retirement, no health insurance for a sick love one, or no money to feed, cloth and keep a roof over their children’s head?  How do you convince them that they are choices, alternatives, or even opportunities, especially when they are in the mist of a crisis?  I may not have the right answer, but there is something to say about a person’s will to survice, a person’s faith in something bigger and more powerful than themself, something that goes beyond their own rational thought and reason, something that can transform systems and people, something that perform miracles when they need them the most.

And that is what we do in times of dier need and despair, we keep the faith, we create our own good news and we look for the smallest blessings in our lives and be grateful for them.  We look for guidance from within and don’t put much emphasis on the Bad News that keeps bombarding us.  And if we are the victims of such bad news, we look for the one small good that is in it.  Whatever we do, we don’t give in and we don’t give up.  We hear stories of people defying the odds, people that have survived horrible situations.  The two common elements in these stories are they never gave up, or a miracle happened.  You know, it blows my mind everytime when I hear there are survivors of a plane crash.  The only explanation in my mind is a miracle. 

It’s okay to feel discourage, even hopeless, but we shouldn’t give in to these feelings and allow them to control our actions.  We can begin to make better choices with the little resources we have and begin to tap our creativity for new ways for living a better life.

The current economy is a living nightmare for some of us, but we can control some aspect of that nightmare by making better choices everyday.  We can eat out less, find natural health remedies for our sick love one, spend less on entertainment outside of the house and introduce some of our childhood games to our children.  Read more, watch less television, turn off the light when we leave the room, drink more water instead of fruit juices and sodas, buy in bluk, open up a window instead of turning on the AC, or cook more meals at home. 

You may say, this is a simplistic approach to complex problems and I may even agree.  I’m not saying this will change the economy or your situation now, but it gives you choices, however minute they are, which may place you in a stronger financial position in the long-run.  

So have I taken some of my own advice?  Yes, my husband and I agreed to eat out as a family only once a week, and he is now taking breakfast and lunch at least three times a week to work.  We’ve cut at least $70 off our weekly expenses, which amounts to $3640 per year.  We are taking a prevention approach to our health and is undergoing a natural cleansing for 30 days.  We are also reading more with our son and finding creative ways for us to have fun as a family without spending lots of money.  We buy what we need and reward ourselves accordingly.  We are simplifying our life in drastic ways, resulting in less dependency on the economy and less burden on our planet.

And even with feelings of discouragement when I hear all this bad stuff at times, my faith lives on and I create my own Good news.

I would love to hear how you are couping with the “bad” economy, post your comments here: